CHAPTER 1
The heat of the sun pressed down on Aliya today as she walked back from school. There wasn’t a single cloud in the sky over Zamara Town to bring her some reprieve. God must be angry today, she thought, that’s why He’s turned up the heat! A bit of hell for all sinners, of which she was one.
She was late getting home today, and it was all Senior James’ fault. She was 12 years old, and he was a senior prefect in Zamara Primary & High School; always nicely dressed, wearing his spectacles. The first time he came into her classroom and asked them all to stand up because they were disturbing, she was smitten. He must have noticed her too because he came to her desk and asked her name. She blubbered her name, and he gave her a wry smile as he asked, “How old are you?” “I’m 12 years old please.” She responded.
He then cast his eye over her in such a way that she felt undressed in front of her classmates. She instinctively folded her arms, almost as if to cover her budding breasts and shield them from his ravenous scrutiny. “See me after school”, he announced with the authority of a teacher, and proceeded to slowly walk out of the class. She realized her palms were sweating, so she sat down and wiped them on her skirt, feeling the eyes of her classmates on her. What was going to happen now? She thought…
After school, she lingered, not sure whether to go and see him or not. She didn’t have to stress: he came looking for her! Almost as if he knew what was going through her mind, he proceeded to give her assurances that everything was ok so she should relax and not be afraid, he only wanted to help her with her homework. He made her sit with him at the back of the class and produce the homework.
All her friends had gone home, and the school was emptying fast. And still they sat, partly doing the homework, partly answering his searching questions. It was a math homework, so what had science and the human body got to do with anything? And what were all these strange feelings she was having, sitting so close to him, his voice tickling the inside of her ears, his breath making her heart beat so fast?
She savored the attention James was giving her, but somewhere deep inside, warning bells were ringing. “RAN! RAN MY CHILD!”, a Voice within her screamed. She attempted to get up but James placed his hand firmly on her thigh and said, “Don’t be afraid, I won’t do anything bad to you. I like you, and I just want to get to know you. Relax, let’s talk”. His smile was inviting, his voice luring. “NO! NO MY CHILD!”, the Voice within screamed. She knew the right thing to do now was to shove his dirty hands off and ran for dear life! But somehow she couldn’t resist him, he was so insistent!
She wanted to scream, but instead she whimpered “No James, please…” He turned her to face him, took her hand in both his, looked into her eyes and said condescendingly, “Listen, Aliya. I just need a friend. If you take care of me, I will take care of you. There are many bad boys out there who will take advantage of you because you are beautiful. But I won’t. I promise. So what do you say, huh?”. He touched her cheek gently and lifted her head to look at him. Before she could respond, he planted a kiss on her lips. She melted. “DON’T! DON’T MY CHILD!!”, but it was too late. She had no more will-power. She should have heeded the first warning. As his hand slid up her skirt like a snake, she thought to herself, “If only my pastor could see me now, what a shock!”.
One thing led to another, and in an instant and with a searing pain, her innocence was taken away from her. James seemed to know what to do. He helped her clean up nicely, gave her a tablet to swallow “to kill any viruses”, and assured her not to worry and that it would get better next time. It occurred to her then that perhaps she wasn’t the only one in the school who had fallen victim to James’ smooth talk…
As she walked home that afternoon, she felt dirty and ashamed. No one saw them but inside her she sensed Someone had seen her. There were no more warning voices, just a deep sense of shame. It was as if the Voice had died in her.
She took a shower as soon as she got home, but no matter how hard she scrubbed, she couldn’t feel clean. “What have I done?”, she asked herself, over and over again. A spirit of fear and depression descended on her. No one must know, not her father, mother, or siblings must know. At 12 years old, Aliya felt the burden of sin and guilt weighing heavily on her shoulders. “What can wash away my sin?”.
James didn’t give up. Day after day he would find her after school, and “help” her. He would often show her pictures and videos on his phone, to “educate” her on the art of sexual pleasure, with practical lessons following. At first Aliya was repulsed, but soon enough she got used to them, doing her best to please and impress James.
Then came the nightmares. At night, persons without bodies would come to her, in a dream or in reality she wasn’t sure. But after such encounters, she would wake up in the morning feeling defiled and in a bad mood. It got so bad that Aliya’s mother, Rebecca, recently complained to their pastor that Aliya had changed suddenly and had become stubborn and disrespectful. Her pastor has advised that it was due to the onset of teenage hormones.
Aliyah wondered why her mother wouldn’t just talk to her, instead of shout at her. She felt so burdened, crying out for someone to save her from sinking, but everyone was busy pointing fingers at her. How come no one could see her pain and shame? Had she now become so good at covering up, hiding and pretending that she had become one with the trees? How can everyone pass her by and not even notice her, when she was screaming so loud inside?
Six months had now passed. How can sin mature in so short a time? No one needed to tell her she had changed, and at such an early age. She had been fathered into sin by James. All Aliya wanted was love and attention. If only she could be loved without strings…
Today as she walked home in the seething sun, she was convinced God did not love her. If truly there was such a place as hell, she was definitely bound for it. Maybe it would be a good idea to just end it all and head there. What was the point of living and daily feeling sick with sin and guilt anyway?
TO BE CONTINUED…
Nana Akua Dede