PART I
“I’m leaving this church”, Reverend Dwayne thought to himself as he listened to his senior pastor, Prophet Casely, preaching animatedly amongst the congregation on a hot Sunday afternoon. “There is only so much one can take. This nonsense has to stop”. And he will make sure of it.
This was not the first time this thought had occurred to him. At first, it was just a fleeting thought, one he hurriedly brushed away as demonic. But then, it kept coming back, gaining strength and legitimacy as he considered the grievances he had against this ministry, and the various grounds for offense caused both directly and indirectly by his senior pastor, once considered his “spiritual father”.
And then, at dawn one morning, as he was half reading his Bible, half mulling over all that had happened, he had this strange sensation. It was almost as if what had always been just a ‘thought’ suddenly took on the form of a ‘being’ and virtually entered into him, possessing him. From that moment on he could not shake off the feeling of discontentment, dissatisfaction and irritation. Nothing was the same from that day onward, and nothing was ever good enough. The preaching that once blessed him no longer pleased him. Rather annoyed him. Every so called “word” of revelation raised questions in his heart, and now he could no longer endure it. “I need to leave this church!”
This particular Sunday morning was no different. He sat in front, three seats away from his senior pastor’s chair. He slouched, eyes vacant. You could almost sense resistance from his posture. And yet all around him the other deacons and church workers seemed enthralled by the “word”. “Prophecy, man of God!”, someone shouted, disturbing his train of thought.
Reverend Dwayne had served in this ministry for years. In fact, he joined the church while he was at the lowest point in his life, hopeless and dejected, with his pregnant wife on admission with complications. It was only because of Prophet Casely’s intervention that his wife delivered their only child, and he received both mother and son safely.
Overwhelmed with gratitude, Reverend Dwayne had thrown himself into the church to serve for the rest of his life. After all, he owed the life of his wife and son to Prophet Casely, and his own life besides! On the day he came to the church to dedicate his son, he had passionately given his life to Christ, and vowed to serve the Lord and the church with his whole household! Why, he would happily wipe Prophet Casely’s feet with his very hair, but for the fact that he was quite bald.
Truth be told, Prophet Casely had been good to him and his family for as long as he had known him. Within one year of dedicated service, the prophet had appointed him a pastor, and offered him a full-time position as his assistant. He even ensured his family was well taken care of.
But then things changed with time, or perhaps nothing changed but he now saw things differently. These days, others had been brought on board, and he felt sidelined. So much so that now, not only was he sharing his duties as an assistant with three others, but they were being treated as equals!
He felt it would only be fair and proper if the difference was clearer between them to reflect their various years of service. But it wasn’t so. To make matters worse, Prophet Casely had embarrassed him in a staff meeting, making a big deal out of a mere oversight. Reverend Dwayne had been shocked that after so many years of service, he would be demeaned in such a way, and that in front of the younger staff!
In fact, it was his wife, Prophetess Jezi, who first noticed these goings-on and brought it to his attention, and insisted he does something about it before he lost his position! But the more he tried the worse it got, until it got to the point where he now felt quite fed up, mostly due to his wife’s constant nagging and his incapacity to please her. Having now had 15 years exposure in the ministry, he felt he had served his time, and learnt enough to launch out on his own. His son was now 15 years old and played the keyboard. His wife led the women’s ministry and was well liked, more than Mama Leisa, the Prophet’s wife. Many women felt his wife, Prophetess Jezi, was the one who inspired “fashion” in the church, and many ladies followed her trends.
As for Mama Leisa, she was hardly seen. She seemed intent on prayer, fasting and bible reading only. Whoever said you can’t dress up and be spiritual at the same time. But then Reverend Dwayne’s wife, Prophetess Jezi, had helpfully explained to him one day, that Mama Leisa felt insecure in her marriage, hence the over-spirituality. What with all the beautiful women around who needed to be ministered to, and Prophet Casely’s “loving” nature…
Although he Reverend Dwayne could not specifically point to any failings in morality on the part of Prophet Casely, he couldn’t rule it out either. Only God knows how he himself had been sorely tempted several times by so many juicy ladies in the church, but had only fallen once, and no one knew about it. So no, he could neither confirm nor deny if indeed Prophet Casely had clean hands. After all, sexual abuse by pastors are ten-a-penny nowadays, but usually best swept and left under the carpet, where he intended to keep his dirt for eternity.
He shook his head to clear the ugly image out and realized the service was over. Prophet was giving announcements. Something about a two-day Pastors Book Conference in Archbishop Atello’s church on Tuesday morning, being conducted by one Evangelist…. the name didn’t ring a bell. An evangelist, books, pastors conference, it didn’t add up. But then he saw the picture of the Evangelist on the screen, and was intrigued. Perhaps he’s from America. It wouldn’t do any harm to attend and do some networking. It might lead to doors being opened for him to travel abroad, or some flying dollars to help launch his ministry…Good. He will attend. He quickly took down the date and time, checking to make sure there was no registration fee required.
THIS IS WHY YOU MUST NOT JOKE WITH HAVING A SECRET PLACE – Apostle Joshua Selman Nimmak
The last time a great man of God from another ministry visited their church, the man of God had recognized the special Call of God on his life. They had exchanged details and he had started listening to the man of God’s messages on podcast. The man of God had also intimated that if he had someone like Reverend Dwayne on his team, he would triple his salary. Reverend Dwayne had been flattered by the implied offer, but had told the man of God he would pray about it. After the program, he felt led to start his own ministry rather than jump into someone else’s boat, especially after the incident when Prophet Casely faced him in front of the younger staff. No, he would rather build his own Kingdom and be the King. It wasn’t about money or pride, it was all about building the Kingdom of God.
So Pastor, You’re Not Billy Graham…
PART II
Tuesday morning came, and as Reverend Dwayne pulled into Archbishop Atello’s church yard, right behind Prophet Casely’s car, he was surprised to find the car park full to the brim, and the conference already underway. He checked his watch, he wasn’t that late. He snickered and thought aloud, “Americans, always on time”. He went up to Prophet Casely, took his bible as was his custom, and walked dutifully behind him into the hall. Ushers directed them to their seats inside the tightly packed auditorium. He took his seat and looked towards the one speaking. It wasn’t the Evangelist as far as he could tell. He couldn’t recognize the preacher, so he assumed he must be part of the Evangelist’s team. He checked to see if he could locate the Evangelist, but couldn’t. So he settled down to listen to this preacher.
Soon Reverend Dwayne began to grasp what the message was about: a leader has to be a reader. He had seen tables outside the auditorium laden with books with vibrant designs and various titles. But he had not been too bothered to take a look. Books were not particularly his ‘thing’. He preferred being “led by the Spirit”. Was this just a book sales marketing strategy? Then he wouldn’t last long here. He would have to make his excuses and leave early. Why spend good money buying books at his age? He had all the experience and knowledge he needed after 15 years in the ministry. He had read a few books he had received as free handouts at some conferences. They hadn’t inspired him much, so he kept them on his desk as decoration.
He turned to look at the one preaching again. Tall, dark, wearing a simple but classy long linen shirt, possibly from somewhere in West Africa, he looked unassuming, but spoke with great authority:
“You don’t like reading because you read the wrong books. There are certain books that are specifically anointed for you. If you are able to break open the seal of the books, your ministry would be birthed out, and you would preach to many people! Amen! Turn to Revelations 10…”
He was intrigued. He opened his Bible and read along. Heaven also had books, and angels delivered books to God’s anointed, empowering them to go further and do more! Did this mean his rejection of books and reading was actually a rejection of his own calling?! Was this man implying that God had sent them as angels from West Africa with books to empower them in their city? How could that be possible? Even the government didn’t care much about their city until election time, why should God? He turned to the lady sitting by him and whispered to her, “These people are here for money.” He sneered and shook his head, looking to see if she could also see through the gimmicks. To his shock, she rather seemed greatly offended and gave him a look of pure disdain, as if he was some contemptible creature. He could hardly believe it! Why, what had he done wrong? He just wanted to warn her? She fluttered her eyelids with scorn, pulled her wrapper tightly around her and with her arm lifted, shouted, “Preach!”. “Ei! I better keep my opinion to myself.” He thought to himself, as the preacher continued:
“If you are a leader, you cannot say you don’t like reading. How then will you lead? Jesus called the Pharisees blind lawyers in Luke 11:52- 54. The Pharisees didn’t like books and stopped others from reading. They were like the type of people who would tell other pastors, ‘be careful of these West Africans.’ Soon, these same Pharisees became accusers and fault-finders, making it their business to only point out what they felt was wrong. That was how the princes of the world occupied the Pharisees with the sole purpose of crucifying the Son of God. You can read it for yourself in 1 Corinth 2:8 and Isaiah 58:8 -9. When you refuse to read, you begin to criticize out of ignorance. And you end up attacking that which is meant it be a blessing to you!”
Reverend Dwayne hang his head and began contemplating changing seats. This preacher might as well have given him a double slap. He hadn’t come all this way to be insulted. He could smell stick kebabs being grilled outside. Perhaps would quickly grab some breakfast and head out. But just as he was about to make his move, the preacher said, “Ladies and gentlemen, The Evangelist, Dag Heward-Mills!”
Everyone stood and clapped. So many had gathered to hear this preacher! He looked to see the Evangelist, and surely, there he was. Tall, fair, handsome and with a sense of urgency about him. He shook hands with a few senior men of God sitting in front and took his seat. A young lady took to the microphone and sang. The tune sounded familiar, but the words…!
Go into all the world and preach the gospel
Until your life is done
If you love me obey the great commission
Build churches everywhere
In every town, every province, every city
Africa shall be saved
Tell me: how long is it gonna take
For you to obey me
I have a feeling that I’m waiting in vain, for you to obey me
I have a feeling that I’m waiting in vain for you to do my will
CHORUS
Am I gonna wait in vain for your love x 4
The song grasped his attention. He was bent on catching every word! “Wow!”
Do you remember what I told you
I told you build a mega church
I told you, have a burning vision
Your vision must be big
But all you do does not lead to church growth
Your mind is on other things
I have been thinking, thinking to myself
That I’m wasting time on you
I wanna change your position
Replace you and bring in someone else
Cos I have a feeling that I’m waiting in vain for you to obey me
I have a feeling that I’m waiting in vain for you to do my will
It wasn’t what he expected to hear from that tune…
Like I said
For a long time I’ve been calling out for you
There’s always an excuse
A mega church! A mega church!
But you always have excuses, more and more excuses
Honestly, I don’t think that you love me
Your heart is somewhere else
If you loved me hey! If you loved me hey!
You’d obey me. You would work much harder now
But I have a feeling that I’m waiting in vain for you to obey me
I have a feeling that I’m waiting in vain for you to do my will
He wondered who made this song. He could literally hear Jesus asking him directly, “Do you love Me?” A chill ran through his very core.
But before he could catch his breath, and without any fanfare, the Evangelist took to the pulpit and began, “Let us pray.”
PART III
Reverend Dwayne stood up with everyone else, but did not close his eyes. He looked intently at the Evangelist. Something about him made him feel uneasy. His voice carried an authority that wasn’t natural. It alarmed something within him. He felt hemmed in and could not make his escape without attracting attention. He will bide his time. This Evangelist seemed focused and anxious to deliver his message. Perhaps he wouldn’t be long. “Amen”, he said, and took his seat. The lady beside him hardly looked his way. She couldn’t still be mad at him, could she? “Ei, women!”, he thought to himself, as he turned to hear the Evangelist say:
“The spirit of the Lord is impressing on me to speak on this subject: Loyalty and Disloyalty. For many senior pastors here, you may not know it, but you are working with dangerous sons. They are the sons who have forgotten your kindness to them, and now pretend they like you but secretly plot your downfall. They are filled with pride and accuse you to the congregation behind your back. In their ignorance, they assume that they can be as good and even better than you, and will suddenly leave your church without notice! What they don’t realize is that babies who come out prematurely end up in intensive care and often lose their lives. I have written a book for each one of these groups of people in your leadership, and today, the Spirit of the Lord is going to expose the work of Satan, and you shall crush it under your feet in Jesus name!”
“Aaaaaameeeeeen!!!!” Was the resounding response across the auditorium.
Reverend Dwayne also stood up, but said nothing. He could feel something moving deep inside his belly, and he rebelled within himself as he felt himself being described and exposed by this man he had never met before! Was he a prophet? Didn’t they introduce him as Evangelist Dag? How could he know all about him and in such detail?
His heart beat faster as he gazed at the Evangelist, almost daring him to continue. The Evangelist seemed to have a presence about him, as if angels walked the stage with him. He seemed so regal and yet humble. But, his words, they felt like darts of fire aimed at his very core. His eyes were piercing, like an eagle who had located his prey. How was he to hide from this barrage! Why had he come to this conference in the first place?
The Evangelist suddenly turned and picked up a book from a display shelf staked with several books, all authored by him. He held up the book and announced, “Loyalty and disloyalty”. “Traitors? No, not me”, he thought.
He picked up more books, “Those Who Forget; Those Who Pretend; Those Who Are Proud; Those Who Accuse You, Those Who Are Dangerous Sons; Those Who Are Ignorant; Those Who Leave You; and…One of You is a Devil!”
Reverend Dwayne froze, then began to shake visibly in his seat. A voice within him cried out, “Why? Why! What have I done wrong? Why are you talking about me?” The voice screamed within, but no sound came out of his mouth. What was happening to him?
Why, he rather was the son who had been ill-treated and marginalized. He was the aggrieved, not the perpetrator. So what if due to all he had been through he had also changed? Yes, he had had to come up with excuses to avoid certain meetings. And yes, it had grated his nerves when he had been questioned by others who seemed to think they knew better than him, about his reasons for avoiding meetings or failing to contribute during meetings. Why, he had been forced to open up to those he felt were mature and could handle such matters about what was going on. Everyone needed a friend? So why was he feeling so naked and ashamed as the Evangelist preached?
“You are the one I’m talking about. You have forgotten all that has been done for you. That is why you feel justified in speaking negatively about your senior pastor behind his back, and yet call him Papa. You are a traitor! A dangerous son! And I have written these books to expose the work of Satan in the church, causing division and confusion. It ends today! Repent and go back to your father!”
It was as if a bright light suddenly came on inside him, and that strange sensation he had felt years ago of his thoughts taken on a form and entering into him suddenly disappeared! Just as suddenly as it had began, Reverend Dwayne came to his senses. He felt the tears welling. He tried to suppress them but before he could, they slid down his face. He suddenly felt helpless and could not gather the strength to wipe them away. So he led them flow.
Then came the sobs, gut-wrenching sobs from somewhere deep inside him. “What have I done?” The voice came, as it must have come to Adam when he ate the fruit in the garden. “What have I done?”, he sobbed. Suddenly he heard the sound of wailing, as of someone in deep mourning. Then he realized, HE was the one wailing! And not only him, several others in the pastors conference were wailing and crying! Some on their knees, overcome with sorrow and repentance.
A strong presence of an unusual anointing bringing repentance and deliverance was in the hall. No one was laying hands or casting out demons, but many people were slain just by the preaching of the word.
“What have I done!” How did he end up falling so far and eating with pigs? How could he of all people have forgotten where he came from, and who had made him who he was today? The same person he had once honored and named his son after? The same person who had stood with him whenever his wife turned on him like a beast? That same person who had trusted him and appointed him a pastor, and introduced him to the church, affording him honor and respect among the congregation? The same congregation he had now been meeting in secret and polluting with half truths about his so-called “spiritual father”, painting the prophet as black as Satan himself! All for the embrace and kisses of the congregation the prophet had entrusted him with, stealing their hearts from their rightful owner. Wasn’t he the one who had led the congregation to “honor the prophet” year after year? How could he then be capable of such dishonor! He had even felt justified keeping some of the “envelopes” for himself. “How! How??” He wept.
Reverend Dwayne crawled to the front, found Prophet Casely sitting soberly in his chair, and took hold of his feet. He wept, hardly speaking. He couldn’t get the words out, but his heart was full to the point of bursting.
Had it been greed? Jealousy? Familiarity? Pride? Ignorance? It certainly wasn’t the Spirit of God or any fruit of the Spirit? “Father, my father, forgive me.” Gut wrenching sobs followed. “A son, I am a son! Forgive me! I have sinned.”
How in the world was he ever going to recover? And to clean up this mess. He shouldn’t have listened to his wife and her nagging. He shouldn’t have. He should have seen it for what it was, the ramblings of an unspiritual woman. A trap and a snare. As he thought of his wife, he suddenly had a flashback of himself with that girl from the choir in a hotel room…. “No!” He felt very foolish.
He owed everything to this man, he was the divine connection to his blessings and elevation in this life. God had sent him a gift, and he had despised it. How could he ever have contemplated leaving his home, his family, his church? Where could he possibly go and be received as a son? Of who? How does one disconnect from his family? He had despised his seat, and now felt no longer worthy to sit at the table with brethren. “Oh! What have I done!”
Now he could see that the challenges he had been facing in his life recently, financially, morally, maritally, and even medically, all stemmed from the fact that he had refused to sit down under the shadow of his father. The scripture came to him, like the dawn of the morning…
Song of Songs 2:3
…I sat down under his shadow with great delight,
and his fruit was sweet to my taste.
Why couldn’t he be thankful and happy to be under such a great shadow of protection and divine provision? “Ahhh, I’ve been a fool!” All around him many other rebellious sons did the same, repenting in the presence of the anointing, while the Evangelist stood still at the pulpit, hardly speaking, simply watching the great move of God.
After what seemed like an eternity, someone began to sing,
Take me back, take me back dear Lord,
To the place, where I first received you
Take me back, take me back dear Lord where I first believed.
All across the hall people sang, amazed and blessed to have experienced such a great presence at a book conference, but Reverend Dwayne felt differently. He had been saved, forgiven, healed, and delivered. His life would never be the same. And this was only on Day One of the Conference. Hallelujah!
