A Wild Cat wife is an untrained, unspiritual and disobedient woman. She is one of the most difficult personalities to live with. This kind of wife is the worst kind of uncontrollable creature a pastor would like to encounter. She lives for herself and seems not to have any boundaries of common sense, love, decency, restraint, caution or spirituality.

The Beast: Bad Motherhood

Instead of being a good example to the children, such a woman is a bad mother to her children. She is full of resistance and arguments and every nice family event is in danger of turning into a huge quarrel. A man married to such a woman has to be both a father and a mother to his children.

A young man told me how he had cared for his pastor’s children for several years because his pastor’s wife had no time for her own children.

“What was she doing?” I asked, “Why couldn’t she look after her own children?”

“I don’t know” he answered. “All my pastor’s children were looked after by people like myself because his wife was simply non-performing in the real sense of the word.”

The Beast: Public Embarrassment

John Wesley’s wife was known to attack him openly. She once attacked him in front of his other pastors whilst he was having lunch in a canteen. She would attack him and accuse him of consorting with other women. This wild woman embarrassed John Wesley time and time again.

According to one of Methodism’s travelling preachers: “Once when I was in the north of Ireland, I went into a room and found Mrs Wesley foaming with fury. John Wesley was on the floor, where she had been trailing him by the hair of his head. She herself was still holding in her hand venerable locks, which she had plucked up by the roots.” Allegedly, this took place about a year and a half after they married.

On another occasion, John Wesley was at a meeting with more than sixty of his Methodist ministers. A lady called Sarah Ryan was serving the pastors with food.

Mrs Wesley burst into the room shouting and waving her finger at Sarah. Then she said, “The whore now serving you has three husbands living.”

A pastor’s child once told me how their father would give them instructions and their mother would intentionally go against the instructions. The father would say, “Do not watch television”, but the mother would put on the television for the children to watch.

The father would say, “You must not buy food from the street”, and the mother would buy the very food that their father had said they should not have.

Husbands are embarrassed as their Wild Cat wives publicly oppose them on every little instruction. The home becomes the ground for a ding-dong battle between husband and wife with the children at the centre of it all.

The Beast: Pretense

Central to the survival of this Wild Cat wife is a glorious image and public sympathy. The Wild Cat loves to bask in the glory of her position. The Wild Cat loves to receive all the respect and reverence due her position.

The Wild Cat is completely driven by the outward impressions that she wants people to have of herself and of her marriage. This hypocrisy is very painful for those who suffer the pain of living with her. To gain public acceptance she may even cry and tell many lies.

Unfortunately, many women are deceived and deceive others too. Many women deceive others with ease. A Wild Cat needs these lies to keep up the false image she has built for herself. Fake eyelashes, a fake smooth face without spots, fake breast size, fake hips, fake hair, fake nails and fake pleasantness are the hallmark of such women. Almost everything about them is unreal. That smiling, cheerful-looking girl taking a selfie, may actually be the most depressed, moody and unfriendly person.

Dag Heward-Mills

It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman. – Proverbs 21:19

A Wild Cat wife is an untrained, unspiritual and disobedient woman. She is one of the most difficult personalities to live with. This kind of wife is the worst kind of uncontrollable creature a pastor would like to encounter. She lives for herself and seems not to have any boundaries of common sense, love, decency, restraint, caution or spirituality.

The Beast: Disrespect

Such a woman will insult her husband in the presence of any one. I know wives who criticise their husbands and tear them down in front of their children. A Wild Cat wife of a man of God was known to shout at her husband in the presence of the children. She would call her husband names and say, “You are a bush man! You are nothing! I will show the world that you are not a man of God! Idiot! Idiot! Idiot!”

Such a woman would try to win the hearts of the children to her side through her negative depiction of her husband. Unfortunately, this often backfires and the children often end up gravitating towards their father and away from their mother.

The Beast: Violence

Some of these Wild Cat ladies are known to hit their husbands. I have known some of them to repeatedly attack their husbands in front of their children. No one would believe that such a beautiful and charming lady would physically attack her husband.

Then the cover of lead was raised, and there in the basket sat a woman!

He said, “This is wickedness,” and he pushed her back into the basket and pushed the lead cover down over its mouth. – Zechariah 5:7-8 (NIV)

I remember a Wild Cat that warned her husband to speak up and answer all questions that she asked. When the pastor refused to answer her questions, she tore up her marriage certificate in front of him. As he fought with her to save a piece of his marriage certificate, she promptly put the rest of the certificate in her mouth and taunted him by chewing it up in front of him.

Such marriages are dangerous because it is uncertain as to what harm the Wild Cat may do to her husband.

One husband woke up in the morning to find a knife stuck by the bed. He was startled and asked, “What is this knife for?” When she told him what she was planning to use the knife for, he could not believe his ears. Trembling and shaking, he called his senior pastor and told him, “I am in great danger in my own house.”

A husband once came with his wife for counseling. The pastor noticed some marks on his head and asked, “What happened to you?”

It transpired that he had been hit several times by his wife who had thrown a chair at him. Even though he was the same size as his wife, he seemed to be genuinely afraid to fight back.

One day, a pastor married a beautiful and gentle-looking lady. This lady metamorphosed into a fighting, challenging opposer. She would even hit and punch her husband when she had the opportunity. She would also attack people in the church. This unfortunate pastor had to move from room to room in his house to avoid the lady he had married as he tried to live peacefully in the same building with her. It is amazing that gentle and beautiful ladies can metamorphose into this kind of beast.

One Sunday, after delivering a powerful sermon, the pastor went home to enjoy the Sunday afternoon. This couple had no children. After lunch there was a discussion that turned into an argument. Known to be violent, the wife attacked her husband when she could not stand what he was saying.

Her husband made a dash for his car to escape. However, before he could get into his car, this beautiful pastor’s wife ran out to the car park and slashed his tyres with all her strength deflating them. The pastor was unable to make his getaway by car so he escaped from the house on foot. He disappeared into the bushes and was not seen for many days. Indeed, he had to escape for his very life’s sake from a beautiful but knife-wielding, tyre-slashing woman! The next Sunday, the pastor preached powerfully in church, but no one had any idea that he had been on the run during the week, escaping for his dear life’s sake.

Some husbands are so filled with the scripture “husbands love your wives” that they ignore basic standards of safety and common sense. God has no intention of destroying you through your spouse. Marriage was intended to provide help for your life. Marriage was not intended to destroy you.

Dag Heward-Mills